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Children

Did you know that a child can cost as much as an apartment?

Well, I’ve definitely cost as much as a small house. Of course, the decision to get children is dependent on many factors (assuming you can actually plan for it). So, let’s dive into it the ExperienceZone way.

Why having children?

First things first: I don’t have children yet. However, I do understand why many declare them as their mission (although I believe that everyone is on planet earth for an individual reason, which is different from the cheer act and result of reproduction). Since our planet is overpopulated, you don’t need to worry about humankind disappearing just because you decide against children.

Yet if you do so, you want to check yourself in three areas:

First, your personal situation. Are you through your rite of passage? Do you feel like you’re grown up. Admittedly, I’ll always have a child in me, which drives me towards doing new things in a bold way, looking at them with fresh eyes and thus enjoying moments deliberately. Yet, I want you to having made certain experiences (such as partners, journeys or hobbies), which make you comfortable with caring for another human being for the next 15 to 20 years. Reason being, some your parents complain about that they haven’t “lived their life” and are now trapped into their parental responsibilities, which doesn’t allow them to make up the things they “missed”.

Second, the relationship with your partner. Do you’ve a stable relationship? Do you love your partner to the same extend that your partner loves you? Do you have more often sex than you fight each other? You might laugh, yet if case the result of latter formula is positive (i.e. more often sex than fights), it’s usually a good predictive indicator for a healthy relationship. Also, you want to reflect upon the social or constitution type combination of you and your partner.

Last but not least, your financial situation does play a role. Do you’ve savings or debt? Do you’ve property (e.g. real estate)? Do you and/or your partner have a “solid” job (the air quotes are due to the fact that there’s no job security anymore, yet you can create skill-sets which are build to last or meet the needs of a large target group)?

Think before you act

This might be challenging when it comes to rather emotional acts, such as sex and thus the production of offspring. Yet, assuming you’re an adult human being and contraceptives are available, I highly recommend you to think twice:

  1. Check your personal situation. Well, there’s never a perfect moment to get children (since there’s never a perfect moment for anything, you better drop the concept of perfection). You might always think that you miss something. However, please bear in mind that children will boost your self-development. Plus spending time with them can be really rewarding. Again, I’m not a father yet but am a good observer plus claim to have decent sense of empathy.
  2. X-ray your relationship. Talk with you partner about your wish to get children. Is she thinking along the same lines? Does she feel “ready” for it as well? Only if both of you guys confirm a level of certainty towards having children, you should jump into action. This way you ensure than no one regrets anything and might not be fully supportive when it comes to living up to the parental duties.
  3. Run a financial analysis. In first place, your professional situation is key to the monetary considerations. Why’s that? If you’re on a good career track (which basically requires you building it up on your individual passions and ultimately strengths), money comes naturally. It’s just a function of others appreciating the value you deliver to them by leaning in with your unique skill-set.

Why are we happier in company than alone?

For many years I went through life with a helmet on my head, a shield in front of my chest, and a sword in my hand. Hell ya, I slayed a lot of dragons. Seen great places. Traveled almost the world. Been there done that. Being independent and successful is great. You don’t need to rely on anyone else. You accept full responsibility for yourself. You charge all failures and achievements on your own account. No one is holding you back…

Yet I experienced that we’re gregarious animals.

Ok, you might argue that we aren’t animals at all. Let’s not go down that road but agree that we’re not islands. Instead, we’re social beings. I learned it the hard way. After years of fighting outside dragons and inside demons, I recognized emptiness. Social isolation. Friends lived on their own lives. Got married. Children. It seems like nature designed us in a way that we generate happiness through social interactions. Prove can be found in the animal kingdom. Just go into a zoo and watch our closes relatives, apes, who’ve got a 98.5% genetic makeup match with human beings. These little guys engage in social interactions the whole day! They play games, they practice mutual physical hygiene, they sometimes fight, and have sex.

This world bears a gazillion of opportunities. Let’s take them together!

Learning and growing doesn’t only make more fun but is also more effective in a group. If you share experiences with others, you’ve something to talk about thereafter. It might sound corny, yet if you keep in mind that communication is the glue of relationships, you need to have subjects in store. Go into the park with your family, have a nice dinner with your partner, party with your friends, visit a playground with your children, and spend some quality time with your parents. Keep your solitude time to read, concentrate and design. Yet have regular touch points with the most important people in your social network every week.

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